How to Know if You’ve Married the Wrong Person
And the more obvious question: It's ironic, the more time I spent with him, the more alone I felt, yet somehow I feared the unknown more. What was on the other side of ending it? Truth is, I let him treat me badly and that's tough to swallow. I can find all sorts of ways to justify staying with him — we took cool trips, we did adventurous things like rappelling and mountain biking, but the relationship drained my spirit.
I let the relationship drag on and drag me down.
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Today, I'm joyfully married to an amazing man and we have beautiful twin toddler girls. I don't have to give this this ex-boyfriend one more second of my life, but I feel compelled to share my story. Are you ignoring the signs? Are you ignoring your gut? If I could go back in time, I would have ended it a lot sooner. Here are some questions to ask yourself when you start to sense this might not be the dream relationship that you deserve:.
Find out before it's too late
A quick way to know if you are in a healthy relationship is to ask yourself if the person you are dating is making your life better. Healthy relationships improve our lives. When we let people mistreat us, it takes a toll on other aspects of our lives too.
Fabulous times await you on the other side. Trust that your best days are ahead of you.
15 Warning Signs You are Dating the Wrong Person | GOD TV
For me, my dream man and my twin girls were on the other side of ending it. Yes, the unknown is scary, but ending a relationship that weighs heavily on you is ultimately freeing and empowering.
And what's even scarier than the unknown in knowing that you're giving up on your own happiness. You date to find the right match, not to turn yourself into the right match. In retrospect, I can clearly identify early signs that my relationship was unhealthy. Signs that said RUN! I would marry him again and again, even now that I know that marriage is not necessarily easier or more pleasant than being alone, even accepting that marriage does not have any power to transport us back into a state of romantic bliss.
I know now that no actual human being can ever measure up to the romantic fantasy of a soulmate. Mark might be imperfect and imperfect-for-me , but I am also highly imperfect and, as such, imperfect for him. Determining the rightness of a match between ourselves and another is a fundamentally flawed enterprise, because nothing outside of ourselves—nothing we can buy, achieve, and certainly no other person—can fix our brokenness, can bring us the lasting joy that we crave.
A more constructive and potentially satisfying proposition is to ask: Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace? Can I negotiate our disagreements with love and intelligence?
- older woman dating a younger woman;
- 18 year old dating 45 year old!
- Caution Signs?
Without losing myself to fear and emotion? Am I willing to do the introspective work required of marriage? Can I muster the self-awareness needed to keep from driving you away? Do I think I am brave enough to continue loving you, despite your flaws, and, more importantly, despite mine? View the original article.
15 Warning Signs You are Dating the Wrong Person
The world needs more of these. As a small, dedicated non-profit, Mindful brings compassion and connection into the hearts, homes, and communities of millions of our readers. Writer AJ Jacobs explores what happens once you decide to thank everyone responsible for your morning coffee. She is the author of The Sweet Spot: Marriage tends decisively to move us onto another, very different and more administrative plane, which perhaps unfolds in a suburban house, with a long commute and maddening children who kill the passion from which they emerged.
The only ingredient in common is the partner. And that might have been the wrong ingredient to bottle. A more empowering—and more deeply romantic—question is: At that time I was planning to return to the mission field in Asia where I had just served for two years. This was a portal through which a potential wife in my world, must pass.
While for me this was a very narrow and specific criterion, a wider principle can be stated thusly:. Is the person you are considering as a lifelong partner, a person of vision, and is that vision compatible with yours? Beyond a specific ministry assignment, we are all called to the vision of becoming Christ-like: Does she display the self-discipline necessary to turn from lesser pleasures and follow the supreme path of allegiance to Christ? Now is the time to evaluate before you choose; once married, you forfeit that luxury.